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The True Story...


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#1 status - Horse Hockey

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 04:29 PM

A ludicrous production of why the world is schitt.
 
Blame it on the Schitt Family. It's amazing how this family rose to power and influences so much of the worlds opinion of itself. 
 
It must be part of the American dream: nothing like taking a good shit. It just becomes less frequent as you get older. Not the shit itself, but a good shit. Never mind...you know what I mean. I think! :D
 
Crapping on each other all the time and sharing it in the gossip columns is the legacy the Schitt has given society in general.
 
Anyways, back to the Schitt Family. This clan is one of the biggest reasons why the power of Schitt rules the world. They market great fertilizer. That must be said. It's great for planting seeds in.
 
Take Jack for example: How can a know nothing like that head a dynasty of such prolific power? I don't know, but let's take a look at the history of the Schitt family to find out...
 
...take heed, learning the background of the Schitt pedigree requires a great tolerance for all the nasties one can find inside a massive cesspool. So if you have the stomach lets take a ride down the conduits of flowing cloaca and see where it goes. Don't abandon all hope though; a sewers purpose is important for a society to survive in a clean and friendly manner.
 
Masks to guard against the dense effluvium are available at the entrance...
 
You may run into the Ass Clan along the way. Their connections to the Schitt system are obvious. Also the Hedd Family gets involved here and there. But, for the most part our focus will be on Schitt.
 
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#2 Feathers

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 04:35 PM

:chuckle:


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#3 status - Guest

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 04:41 PM

:chuckle:

 

:biggrin:

 

EayyIxr.gif


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#4 status - Horse Hockey

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 05:19 PM

Jacks father, Awe, literally brought the Schitt fans running to the market with his crappy inventions to make fertilizer much cheaper. Using the latest marketing ploys he developed loads of new Schitt with his cousin, Oh. Soon they were kneedeep in good Schitt. Awe and Oh decided to marry and renamed the new fertilizer corporation to Kneedeep in Schitt. Awe did this to please Oh in honor of their first meeting at the kneedeep Schitt Inn she owned. Their love of Schitt deepened and Jack was born nine months later...


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#5 Feathers

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 05:49 PM

 

:smiley-says-lol:


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Posted 05 January 2018 - 05:58 PM

Jacks father, Awe, literally brought the Schitt fans running to the market with his crappy inventions to make fertilizer much cheaper. Using the latest marketing ploys he developed loads of new Schitt with his cousin, Oh. Soon they were kneedeep in good Schitt. Awe and Oh decided to marry and renamed the new fertilizer corporation to Kneedeep in Schitt. Awe did this to please Oh in honor of their first meeting at the kneedeep Schitt Inn she owned. Their love of Schitt deepened and Jack was born nine months later...

 

It's easy enough to describe the family tree. It's the Schitts, of course, and sometimes the stories get the runs. What we should be chiefly concerned about is NDinS. Their main conglomerate. The fertilizer they produce is a massive pile of unmitigated crap. They sell it by the Schitt load. Their customers spread it around everywhere. On the walls, in the newspapers, and especially spilling out of the TV. Soon and ocean of Schitt will flood the planet.

 


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#7 status - Horse Hockey

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 06:18 PM

It's easy enough to describe the family tree. It's the Schitts, of course, and sometimes the stories get the runs. What we should be chiefly concerned about is NDinS. Their main conglomerate. The fertilizer they produce is a massive pile of unmitigated crap. They sell it by the Schitt load. Their customers spread it around everywhere. On the walls, in the newspapers, and especially spilling out of the TV. Soon and ocean of Schitt will flood the planet.

 

Yeah, we'll get to that. First, we gotta look at the inside of this turd. There might be some corn in it.


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#8 Feathers

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 06:24 PM

What inventions did the Schitts produce?


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#9 status - Horse Hockey

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 06:33 PM

What inventions did the Schitts produce?

 

Well...Awe was really secretive about it all. He actually didn't invent a damn thing. He just uses his skills to inspire and sold it that way. Kind of colors the story, don't it? But Jack told me once when he was Schitt faced that Awe found a machine while deep diving in the ocean. When he found it it was spilling out salt. He actually discovered why the ocean was salty. But that's another story. Anyways, he was clever enough to figure out how to turn it off and raise it up from the filthy depths. He knew more about this machine but he was unwilling to disclose where he found out about it. He then experimented with it and after a while he began producing the best Schitt anyone ever saw. With it he could sell anything and make it grow. The best fertilizer on the planet.

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#10 status - Jack

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 09:09 PM

I knew there was more to this Schitt. Old meme my Ass. 


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