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The True Story...


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#11 Feathers

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 10:23 PM

 

Well...Awe was really secretive about it all. He actually didn't invent a damn thing. He just uses his skills to inspire and sold it that way. Kind of colors the story, don't it? But Jack told me once when he was Schitt faced that Awe found a machine while deep diving in the ocean. When he found it it was spilling out salt. He actually discovered why the ocean was salty. But that's another story. Anyways, he was clever enough to figure out how to turn it off and raise it up from the filthy depths. He knew more about this machine but he was unwilling to disclose where he found out about it. He then experimented with it and after a while he began producing the best Schitt anyone ever saw. With it he could sell anything and make it grow. The best fertilizer on the planet.

 

 

I've heard of this 'salt' machine. It's a dangerous thing. Nobody ever listens to ALL the instructions on how to use it.

 

All the Schitt is spilling into the ocean again.

 

Only this time it's using the rivers and waterways to drain all the Schitty by-products back into the sea.

 

Polluting everything including the land.

 

And it isn't just Schitt either.

 

It's filled with poisons of all kinds mixing together.

 

Forming new compounds that go beyond just Schitt alone.

 

Wouldn't this also mean the ocean is no longer getting salty but instead being filled with Schitt?


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#12 status - Horse Hockey

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Posted 05 January 2018 - 10:37 PM

Fertilizer keeps us all enthralled with drama. The situation rooms at NDnS are constantly spouting out new probing sessions to actively break in new balls of dense Schitt. It comes out raw from the fields and is refined into many shapes and sizes. Some is more potent that others. The really refined Schitt comes in boxes of special chocolate. 
 
Little pieces of Schitty goodness that melt in the mouth.
 
After all: Schitt happens!
 
poster%2C210x230%2Cf8f8f8-pad%2C210x230%
 
We'll cover all that and more with our specialists .
 
But first...
 
A word from our sponsor:
 
 
:chuckle:
 

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#13 status - Belled & Whistled

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Posted 06 January 2018 - 12:33 PM

KDnS Agency, an offshoot division responsible for marketing, pushes out the greatest Schitt for all its customers. Some of the best ad campaigns in history were seeded from this agency. Ever wonder why those Schitt on a Shingle Sandwiches look so good on glossy images. Well, KDnS likes to employ their own version of the secret sauce. It's prime, it's sweet, it tastes so divine. Of course, most of the ingredients are artificial but the secret meat does contain a bit of the good Schitt. Always have to have a bit of natural included in the recipe. Otherwise it's just plain old crap and it will never sell. It's gotta look good on the copy write. Even if the real product looks like a turd the job at KDnS is too make it look like white on rice. Clean and flashy eye candy to entice desires and offer instant satisfaction. The Hegel department specializes in this approach with some help from the Bernays branch. The Goebbels division handles all propaganda sales with its tried and true methods. Oops, maybe I said too much...

 

:lock-icon:

 

They hate it when the secret sauce gets noticed!

 

:blink:

 


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#14 status - Guest

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Posted 06 January 2018 - 01:10 PM

Finally. Some truth about about the ABC's of the national broadcasting company. People are beginning to c thru the bs. When I c the network news it reminds me of a fox trying to raid the chicken coop. Only the names have been changed to protect the guilty.

 

:chuckle:

 


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#15 status - Horse Hockey

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Posted 06 January 2018 - 01:20 PM

I've heard of this 'salt' machine. It's a dangerous thing. Nobody ever listens to ALL the instructions on how to use it.

 

All the Schitt is spilling into the ocean again.

 

Only this time it's using the rivers and waterways to drain all the Schitty by-products back into the sea.

 

Polluting everything including the land.

 

And it isn't just Schitt either.

 

It's filled with poisons of all kinds mixing together.

 

Forming new compounds that go beyond just Schitt alone.

 

Wouldn't this also mean the ocean is no longer getting salty but instead being filled with Schitt?

 

Good observation. It is producing a Schitty result. Yes, the 'machine' you speak of was discovered long ago. I see you know the legend. The legendary mill of dreams. It can produce anything. Yes, it was found and exploited with awe inspiring results by the Schitts.

 

Finally. Some truth about about the ABC's of the national broadcasting company. People are beginning to c thru the bs. When I c the network news it reminds me of a fox trying to raid the chicken coop. Only the names have been changed to protect the guilty.

 

:chuckle:

 

You should see tavis' stock photos of the frankfurter follies. OMG! What a blast. It was an extravagant gala wedding between the Schitt and Hedd families.

 

EPIC!!!


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#16 status - musical fruit

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Posted 06 January 2018 - 09:23 PM

Dropped a kick in that one. πŸŽπŸ…πŸπŸ‹πŸŒΉπŸ””πŸ””πŸ””πŸ””πŸ””πŸ””πŸ””
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#17 status - Guest

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Posted 07 January 2018 - 06:55 PM

Shit
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#18 Feathers

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Posted 08 January 2018 - 02:32 AM

Shit

 

:chuckle:


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#19 status - Horse Hockey

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Posted 08 January 2018 - 07:37 AM

KDnS Agency, an offshoot division responsible for marketing, pushes out the greatest Schitt for all its customers. Some of the best ad campaigns in history were seeded from this agency. Ever wonder why those Schitt on a Shingle Sandwiches look so good on glossy images. Well, KDnS likes to employ their own version of the secret sauce. It's prime, it's sweet, it tastes so divine. Of course, most of the ingredients are artificial but the secret meat does contain a bit of the good Schitt. Always have to have a bit of natural included in the recipe. Otherwise it's just plain old crap and it will never sell. It's gotta look good on the copy write. Even if the real product looks like a turd the job at KDnS is too make it look like white on rice. Clean and flashy eye candy to entice desires and offer instant satisfaction. The Hegel department specializes in this approach with some help from the Bernays branch. The Goebbels division handles all propaganda sales with its tried and true methods. Oops, maybe I said too much...

 

:lock-icon:

 

They hate it when the secret sauce gets noticed!

 

:blink:

 

The Mill of mystery has made the Schitt saucy indeed. Bull Schitt is a star player in its mechanisms. He can spread a load out like no other. Flushing out pound after pound of densly pure fertilizer. After packaging it gets sent out to the Hedd network. There, Butt and Block, oversee distribution to all the major social scenes. Filtered with many flavors as it flows it soon looses it's greater quality and the regular consumer is left with the dregs of loose Schitt. Nothing substantial to base decent opinion on. All of it meant to be flushed constantly to keep the Schitt flowing. 
 
Sometimes blockage does occur...
 
:GrinNod1:

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#20 status - Guest

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Posted 13 January 2018 - 05:33 PM

Dropped a kick in that one. πŸŽπŸ…πŸπŸ‹πŸŒΉπŸ””πŸ””πŸ””πŸ””πŸ””πŸ””πŸ””

 

:FunnyShit1:

 

Shitholes blasting forth the song of its people...

 

:Blur:

 

The problem with the sewer is that people tend to throw all kinds of Schitt into it. Clogging all the pipes with material not made to be flushed. Too bad, it vomits up all kinds filth into the public mind with more than just Schitt and paper. Especially when a clog in the pipes gets to severe.

 

:Brain_Fart:

 

:chuckle:


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